This is a piece I wrote about in October last year. Today I share with you:
difficult it is to write for a long time I have ideas in their heads who do not want to dump or the paper or the screen of my pc, it seems that only enjoy tormenting me, who feel comfortable still just want my own and not be shared with others, slowly I go long even as a catharsis, a way to download, do not pretend that I understand, to share my ideas, or who are interested in what I have say, just want to get all the crap that I have around, perhaps once and for all to clear my conscience and sleep in peace. I'll take this moment of inspiration I got back in bondi faculty, as I said before, if you want to read it or not, I do not mind the thing is that I could express myself and that's part of the solution to the problem of thinking.
Which brings me to write these paragraphs is a phrase I heard from an imitator of Charly Garcia talking about the death of the black Sosa, not because I grieve the death of the lady or couple because it is relevant to me but the sentence was what I get thoughts of mine who had a recent skin-deep. The sentence read something like "that life is unfair are the bad guys and good will, or perhaps it's unfair death." It is a great phrase, is a clear hose of a funeral, every time someone famous dies everyone says, always the good ones who die, or so it seemed, the reality is that bad also die, but are the most lasting in this world. This was the sack 2 me existential questions, the kind that we all do and we will never receive an answer, what is life and what is death.
Previously I wrote a couple paragraphs with the air of a philosopher about what is my view of what life is, but what ever raised was the fact that it's trite phrase "life is unfair." It's really interesting, we refer to life as we mean by justice, perhaps it is fair to one is unfair to others, unfortunately that "maybe" means the point of view. But let's face it, if we ignore the philosophy, life is only the time period since we started to become aware until we lose it, and the average life is not fair, not fair that most of the world's wealth the are the minority of the population is not just that those who made vows of poverty are seated on thrones of gold, while in Africa people are dying of hunger. This makes us wonder if there really is justice, and if there is, where is it? Perhaps the answer to that question is in another concept, the concept of death. Now, what is death? Is it the cessation of life and is the gateway to a new one? Is there anything after death? Unfortunately my view prevents me skeptical seek comfort in metaphysics. When one dies is all finished, there's no more I, or at least I have no evidence to the contrary, the physical body, thought no longer exist. But nevertheless there is something after death, there is life. But is not that we perceive, but they perceived the other one does not die at all while there are still people who remember, you're always going to live in the hearts of those who matter or care. So you have that instinct to make a difference in the world to avoid extinction. While there is someone to remind you not going to die, "I think therefore I am" while my mind is still alive I will continue living in another body.
Under that premise I would live, that death does not mean the disappearance, but the transfer, we are energy and energy does not disappear, it has moved. But that's a selfish view, that would solve the problem of the self. What about those who are, for they are only memories, and each more distant. So the question is whether plant life is unfair or that death is unjust, why death deprives us of good people and bad people leave us? Why did they die? The answer to that all we know, life is not eternal, we all die sooner or later, and then another question why then left early? Is it really fair for one person to die young? From the point of view of self is wrong, nobody wants to lose a loved one is suffering, sorrow, fear of oblivion and real death. From the standpoint of the dying could say it is different, turning the question whether life is fair or unfair, I can only say that no, as I said before is just for some, but not for others. But I can say that death is just whatever the justice of life. If life is unfair, death ends with this injustice, you stop living in a way that does not deserve, now, if life is fair, you die because you get the time, it's just that your life is over that way, no you can claim anything to death. To which I , perhaps death is not a punishment but a reward, perhaps the punishment is life, maybe if we're paying some other lifetimes and the next we will have our fee or we reboot, the truth nobody knows. But if we want to be comfortable with our conscience, if I want to be peace with my conscience should I think about this: life is unfair and death is just.
Each is the sum of past decisions, think then that the decisions we make today mean something for tomorrow, for the life of others. Let selfishness, while having as protagonists the self of today and think a bit more on them tomorrow. Because life is not fair to all, we do what we are, we begin to eliminate injustice from our vocabulary word, change ourselves so that tomorrow no one would ask if life is fair or not, if we fear death we never to enjoy life, and if life is also in the memory of others, surely if we are better People are going to take longer to die of what our bodies did. Let's not be in the physical world, but in the spiritual world, or the way they prefer to call it, we will continue to be. The people who we do not have to be sad for having lost, but would be happy for having had on their lives.
I am very sad for all the people who lost and keep losing, at first thought it was because I had left, because he had lost forever, try and keep trying to find excuses to justify his departure, to convince not yet lost, that are still with me. All this just because I do not want to face a Actually, I do not want to take blame, because it's easier to toss another, throw it to death. The reality is that one is sad when loved ones die because they could not take the time, one does not value what you have until you lose it and it is very true. I could not enjoy my parents because I thought he was going to take forever, because there is no concept of death in my head, because you do not understand why things happen, because I can not imagine that something escapes my control, my reasoning. Guilt is the fate that so wanted to happen, luck strikes me from death that preys with the good. The reality is that the fault is mine and belongs to them, do not take advantage, do not spend those moments that we share as if the past, we live thinking we'll always be where it is not. But I'm still blaming others.
The fault is entirely mine, I do not take advantage of those people who are no longer, I did not know life as it should, let me leave, I'm letting go, I will pull my responsibility. That's my sadness, my selfishness, perhaps life was not fair to them, but now must be OK, and I'm wrong. My life is not fair, never will be, but I have to find comfort in some way, that my existence may do some good, to serve for someone. That I remember when not so good, that you do justice that fate would not have. Today, the entity known by Joel is the sum of good and evil, joy and sadness, but when it passes the memory will only remember the good or bad. No matter what you remember me, but it will be what I leave, it will be justice, I would have liked to live as I live, I live in happiness, I will be part of a happy, I am finally going to be happy. That thing get in my hard life I will achieve in death, there will be justice, I hate going to be happy that I died, and those who love me will remember me with love and joy. The last will be sad, but it is the selfishness that speech is the same that happens to me, and I understand. So I'm still not ready to leave, because I can not let people feel like me because I know it's ugly and not wish it on anyone. Maybe that's the purpose of my life, being there for others, be a carrier, be an entity called Joel who listens to people when you need to download, be an example of strength when I am weak, be simply "my friend Joi." For me I am nothing, but I can be something else And as long as I can not fail, I will remain.
Perhaps everything I wrote is a shit balls around and I laugh, maybe I shit laughing about this tomorrow, maybe tomorrow think otherwise, change is always, unconditionally. If you mean who thought of what you read I will read it write it, but do not. If you want to criticize me do it, if you want to praise me do it, this is no longer mine, is yours too, from the moment I decided to type it happened to be owned by everyone. Now they know how I feel today does not mean you understand it, but I know. Thanks for reading.
